Well I was under the weather and I wasn't getting better so I went to get a physical check And when I went to the doc it was a heck of a shock He said girl you are a miserable wreck He said your liver's all swollen and somethings got a holden because you've been drinking too much for too long And there's a good indication that you've got bad circulation because your pulse is almost gone And you've got no reflexes in your solar plexus when I tap you on the top of your knee And your pulse ain't steady and your lung's getting ready to collapse every time that you breathe And at the rate you're goin' all the results are showin' that girl you'll never live to get old But I came up with a plan to make you healthy again, but girl you gotta do what you are told And then he told me that if you dig it - don't do it And if you like it better leave it alone And if it's too much fun That oughta clue you hon That you're probably doin' something that's wrong And I'm surprised at you When all the things that you do Girl that ain't what your body is for And if you think you've got so far Wait until Ann plays her part Oh the doctor said a whole lot more [SOLO] He told me to try to stop boozin' Quit them drugs you been usin' And don't be smoking no cigarettes And you know the love of a stranger Might put you in danger Yes it's just like playin' Russian roulette And get that grease off your diet Better to boil it, don't fry it And don't you eat no mo' bar-b-que I wouldn't tell you no lies So let the rulin' apply So girl listen to what you gotta do And then he told me that if you dig it - don't do it And if you like it better leave it alone And if it's too much fun That oughta clue you hon That you're probably doin' something that's wrong And if it's too good to ya Now don't let it fool ya Because your playin' days is gone And I kept waiting and waiting for the man to finish But the sucka just went on and on [SOLO] He told me to cut out all sweets And don't be crampin' your feet In the pointed toe eye-talian shoes And he said girl looka here You're gonna damage your ears Playin' that loud rockin' rhythm and blues And if a rabbit won't eat it Sister you don't need it That's the rule of your new menu You better get you a hint I ain't gonna tell you again There's a whole lot more that you need to do You need to lose some weight You need to stand up straight For your posture is a terrible disgrace You need to suck in your gut You need to tuck in your butt You need to clear them zits up offa your face And then he told me that if you dig it - don't do it And if you like it better leave it alone And if it's too much fun That oughta clue you hon That you're probably doin' something that's wrong And if it's too good to ya Now don't let it fool ya Because your playin' days is gone And I kept waiting and waiting for the man to finish But the sucka just went on and on and on and on and on [FADE]